


our hearts will blend

by skadthi



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Ice Cream, Insecurity, Kairi-centric (Kingdom Hearts), yen sid can be an asshole sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 22:29:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20104648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skadthi/pseuds/skadthi
Summary: Having a heart of pure light doesn't stop Kairi from having her own insecurities. She just wished everyone would realize that she had feelings too.





	our hearts will blend

**Author's Note:**

> I love Kairi so much!! I want her to be happy @Nomura let her be happy and LOVED

Kairi loved Sora and Riku like the brothers she never had, and that love was never difficult. Loving them was as easy as breathing. Sometimes, when she looked at them, she felt her heart swell up with emotion so much that she thought she might burst.

There were times, though, that she wasn't sure the feelings were reciprocated.

Well, that wasn't quite true. Kairi knew Sora and Riku loved her too. After all, Sora spent a year looking for her, and Riku managed to hold off Ansem back in Hollow Bastion just to save her. And when Sora or Riku ended up at Yen Sid's tower at the same time she was there, they always hugged her like they used to as kids.

But it wasn't the same level of love Kairi held in her heart for them, nor was it the level of love she knew they held for each other. She saw the way Sora had collapsed at Riku's feet when they reunited, when she only got a somewhat one-sided hug. And Kairi wasn't stupid- she saw the way Riku had been looking at Sora for, gosh, forever.

When she stumbled in on them kissing in the library of the tower one day, she wasn't surprised, and she certainly wasn't jealous of either of them. In the past, maybe she might have had a thing for Sora, but those feelings were long gone.

They had stumbled up from their position on the floor, faces red, stammering apologizes. Kairi had laughed, waving them off, telling them she was happy for them. And Kairi was happy for them, she really was. And a little relieved- she was kind of getting tired of watching them dance around their feelings awkwardly while she was just caught in the middle.

But as she watched them shyly look at each other, adoration clear in their eyes, she felt… lonely. All three of them left the room together, but Kairi walked a half step ahead of them so she didn't have to see the way they held each other's hands.

Kairi hadn't felt this lonely since she first arrived at Destiny Islands, and even then, she wasn't really alone for long before Sora befriended her. In those days before he did, though, when all she could remember was her name? The loneliness she felt scraped her raw from the inside out, leaving her empty and depressed.

She had felt alone in the world, but Sora and Riku had changed that. For a while, her reason to keep going was her friendship with the two of them.

Now, in a strange tower so far away from home, the only thing familiar to her- her only sense of comfort- was her two brothers. She just wasn't sure if she had that, anymore.

\--

Kairi swung her keyblade hard at Lea, only for him to jump away in the nick of time. She tried to back up too, but she wasn't quite fast enough to dodge him when he swung the Flame Liberator sideways, catching her in the side.

She stumbled, crying out. Lea looked apologetic, but it didn't stop him from sweeping her legs out from under her and knocking her to the ground.

Kairi fell hard on her back. Destiny's Embrace dematerialized as she looked up at Lea, who had his keyblade pointing down at her. "That's 5-0," he said, but there was no victory in his tone. He reached his hand out to help Kairi up, but Kairi got up by herself to save any remaining dignity she had left.

On the sidelines, Yen Sid didn't say anything, and honestly, Kairi was afraid to look at him. He always looked a bit disappointed in Kairi, and even though Sora reassured her that that was just Yen Sid's resting expression, Kairi wasn't sure that was really the case.

When Master Yen Sid told her and Lea that he was going to watch them train today to see how far they had come, she wanted to prove to him that she deserved to be there just as much as anyone else. She told Lea as much before they started, but she also told him not to take it easy on her.

Lea never held back in their fights, but still, she could see the guilt in his eyes now. Kairi didn't really want to know what expression she had; she just hoped her hair covered it enough that Yen Sid couldn't see.

"Again," Yen Sid said.

Kairi and Lea backed up into their fighting stances. She took a deep breath, watching as Lea did the same. They moved at the same time, keyblades clashing in the middle.

They leapt back, circling each other. Kairi moved first, pretending to swing at Lea's right side before moving to hit him on the left at the last moment. Her blow landed, making him hiss.

She didn't let up, simply rounding back and smacking him hard on the right elbow while he was distracted. This time, he was ready. He blocked her blow with his keyblade.

While Lea had his keyblade off to the side, she jabbed him quickly in the middle, hitting him square in the stomach with the end of her keyblade.

"5-1," she said. It was the fastest she had ever won a fight, and even though she knew it was probably because Lea was growing tired, she felt victorious.

Lea smiled. "Alright, you got me this time, squirt."

Beside them, Yen Sid cleared his throat, and it startled Kairi enough that she jumped. He beckoned them over with a small wave of his hand, so they moved forward, standing stiffly at attention before him.

"You have both made tremendous strides," Yen Sid said. Kairi sensed a _but_ coming. "However, I am still concerned with your progress. Lea, you are not yet in sync with your keyblade; a true keyblade master must be one with their blade."

"Yes, Master," Lea said with only the barest hint of sass in his voice. "I understand."

"Kairi." Yen Sid's eyes moved to hers, and Kairi fought the urge to flinch away. "I understand you are a novice when it comes to fighting, but you must understand that this is of the utmost importance. Lea bested you easily today. If this were an actual fight, you would have been struck down immediately."

Kairi turned her eyes to the floor. "Yes, Master."

"Your form was sloppy, and you swing your keyblade recklessly. Multiple times, you missed clear openings to attack. Every time you moved to block Lea's attack, you did not fully stop his blow, and that weakened you. And much like Lea, you do not seem to be in sync with your keyblade, which is hurting your progress."

Kairi's eyes stung painfully as she stared hard at the ground. She blinked hard, digging her nails into her palm. When Yen Sid paused, she glanced up and replied, "I understand, Master."

Yen Sid stared at her for a moment and then said, "Dismissed."

Lea and Kairi bowed deeply to Yen Sid and then exited the room quickly. As soon as the door shut behind them, Lea put his hand on Kairi's shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Kairi didn't want to look back, because she knew if she saw the concern on his face, the tears in her eyes would finally fall.

"I'm fine," she said, brushing his hand off. "I've gotta go. I'll see you later."

She walked quickly down the hall, not looking back, and ducked into the first door she saw. She breathed in once, twice, and then turned around, leaning her back against the door.

Kairi was in the kitchen. It was midday, so the brooms and the dishes were up and about preparing food for the whole day. Normally, the sight brought a smile to her face, but right now she was too preoccupied with keeping the tears in her eyes.

A kettle seemed to notice her entry, because it hopped up on a nearby table, letting out a little noise to get Kairi's attention. "Hello?" she asked hesitantly.

The kettle poured tea into a cup and then bounced back a couple times. Kairi let out a watery laugh and sat down at the table. "Thank you."

She took a sip of the drink and was pleasantly surprised to see that it was peppermint tea- her favorite. One of her few memories from her life before Destiny Islands included drinking peppermint tea with her grandmother, so drinking it was always a comfort.

Kairi expected the kettle to move on, its task complete, but instead, it just hopped up to her and stopped like it was looking her in the eyes. She lifted a hand up to her cheek and realized- _oh_\- the tears she had been trying to keep in check had finally fallen.

"I'm okay," she told the kettle. It was a little odd talking to an inanimate object, but it was hardly the weirdest thing to ever happen to Kairi. "Just had a bad day, that's all."

The kettle tilted a little to the side like it was trying to ask what happened. Kairi lifted the glass of tea back to her lips and took a careful sip.

"I just," Kairi started and then stopped, reconsidering her words. "I know Master Yen Sid is a great and powerful wizard and that he knows what he's doing, but sometimes he can really be a right jerk."

She half expected the kettle to be shocked, but it just nodded like it knew what Kairi was talking about. It made her more confident in what she was saying. "Like, I suppose it makes sense that Lea and I are training together because we're both new to fighting with the keyblade, but he has years of fighting experience that I don't have! Of course he's going to beat me most of the time! I'm trying my best, but sometimes it feels like my best isn't good enough."

Tears started to fall more earnestly now, but now that Kairi had started talking, she found it hard to stop. "And really, it's not my fault that I don't have the fighting experience that Lea has or Sora has or Riku has, because up until now, everyone has excluded me every time there was fighting! When Sora and Riku were starting out, they were out fighting real Heartless and going to different worlds, but all anyone is letting me do is spar in the tower or fight Merlin's furniture."

The kettle nudged her arm soothingly and Kairi wiped her tears off her cheek with the other hand. "I feel like everyone is babying me because they think I'm not good enough. Sora and Riku are out there right now on actual quests, but here I am stuck in this stupid tower."

She paused and then lifted the kettle up so it was eye level with her. "And get this-" Kairi hiccuped. "Get this- every time Sora and Riku do come back here, they barely even want to see me because they're too busy with each other! They're always just-" Kairi made an obnoxious kissing sound with her lips to illustrate her point. The kettle looked as shocked as it possibly could, considering it didn't have a face. "_I know_. I know!"

"Kairi?" someone said behind her.

Kairi was almost shocked enough to drop the kettle, but she didn't. She set it gently back down on the table and turned around to see Riku, who was standing there with two ice cream cones in his hand and a heartbroken expression on his face.

"How much of that did you hear?" Kairi asked weakly.

"I've been here since you called Master Yen Sid a jerk," Riku responded.

Well then.

Kairi's face crumpled even more than it had been before, and she turned away from Riku to try and hide it. He rushed forwards, sitting down in the chair nearest to her. "Hey, I'm sorry, Kairi, it's okay."

She lifted a hand up, trying to hide her whole face from view. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't really mean any of that. It's just been a bad day."

Riku looked like he wanted to reach out, but he still had two ice cream cones in his hand. One of them was slowly melting down the side of his hand. "No, it's really okay. I, uh-" Riku held the less melted cone out to her. "I got you this at Disney Town."

She peeked out more from behind her fingers. "You did?" she asked, carefully grabbing the ice cream. It looked like cookies and cream- her favorite. "Thank you."

Kairi took a bite of the ice cream, trying to ignore the way it was slightly salty due to the tears on her lips. "Listen, Kairi." Riku shifted forward on his chair. "You have to know that Sora and I- we don't think any of that about you."

"Huh?"

Riku waved his hand. "What you said about all of us thinking you're not strong enough or good enough- we don't think that way at all."

Kairi felt her face heat up. "Oh, that." She laughed nervously. "Really, don't worry about it."

"Kairi, if something is making you upset, we want to hear about it," Riku said. When she looked up into his eyes, she just saw worry. "Trust me, it's not good to keep things like this bottled up."

If anyone were to know that, it was Riku, she supposed. But… "I don't want to bother you guys, though," she said. "Especially when it's my fault I'm feeling this way."

"Nah," Riku said. He took a bite off of his ice cream to stop it from melting any further down his hand. "Master Yen Sid is just being an asshole. You're doing fine."

"You really think so?"

Riku nodded. "I know so, and I know Sora would say the same thing. Lea, too, if he wasn't so vain."

Kairi sighed, taking another bite of her ice cream. She had finally managed to stop crying, but she felt a headache coming on and her cheeks were still wet with tears. "Yeah, right. I can count on one hand how many times I've managed to beat Lea."

Riku knocked a fist against her shoulder. "Yeah, but Lea can still beat Sora in a fight too. I've even seen him hold his own against the king, too."

Kairi laughed weakly. "Not you, though, huh?"

"Nope," Riku said, popping the p. He smirked, taking another bite of his ice cream. "I'd like to see him try."

The door to the kitchen burst open and Sora walked in, kicking it shut behind him. "Like to see who try what?" he asked. "Oh, hey, ice cream!"

He lunged forward to grab Riku's ice cream, but Riku stood up and held it above his head where Sora couldn't reach it. "Riku! C'mon!"

Kairi laughed, holding her cone out. "You can have a bite of mine, Sora."

Sora turned to her, smile wide, but it faded a little when he saw the look on her face. "Hey, what's wrong, Kairi?"

Kairi opened her mouth to respond, but Riku beat her to it. "Yen Sid was being an ass today."

"What?" Sora gasped. "What did he say? Do I need to kick his butt?"

"You're not attacking Master Yen Sid," Kairi admonished, but she was smiling when she said it.

Sora looked thoughtfully at Kairi for a moment, searching for something in her eyes, before he said, "Yeah, you're right." He whipped around, yanking Riku's arm down when he wasn't expecting it and grabbing the ice cream from his hand. He ran around the table while Riku yelled "hey!"

"I am gonna attack Riku, though," Sora said, licking the ice cream triumphantly. Riku looked like he was ready to vault over the table to attack Sora too, but he stopped when Kairi let out a loud laugh.

"Hey, Kairi," Sora said when her laugh subsided. "What do you think about playing hooky for the day tomorrow?"

"What?" she and Riku said at the same time.

Sora nodded. "Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you guys for a while. Have either of you been to Atlantica before?"

Kairi shook her head no, but Riku just looked thoughtful. "Isn't that the place where you were in some musical?"

Sora pouted pointedly at Riku. "It was a work of art, thank you very much. But yeah, that's the place. I always thought you guys would like it, and also I don't think Master Yen Sid could send Lea after us cause he's all firey and it's pretty wet there." Sora chuckled to himself at the last sentence, like he was sharing an inside joke with himself.

It sounded… well, it sounded great. "Do you really think that would be okay?" Kairi asked, looking between Sora and Riku. "I don't know if I can really afford to take a break from my training right now."

Sora and Riku looked at each other, having a silent conversation. After a few moments, they looked back at her. "Yeah, it'll be fine," Sora said, shrugging. "What's Master Yen Sid gonna do, fire us?"

"Plus," Riku added, "this really is an important part of training, going to other worlds."

Sora nodded vehemently. "Yeah. What's the point in training to save the worlds if you never take time to appreciate the worlds you're saving?"

There was a moment of silence after Sora's words, and then Riku said, "Wow, Sora, that was almost deep."

Sora frowned. "Hey!" he yelled. He took a pointed bite out of his stolen ice cream. "Don't be rude. I can be smart when I want to be."

"This is news to me," Kairi teased.

"Not you too!"

They all broke off into a fit of laughter. This time, her tears were from mirth. As she looked at Riku and Sora over her ice cream, planning a trip to another world for just the three of them, she thought things might just be okay after all.


End file.
